THAT BRO: #Rolling Face

The typical BRO enjoys a few nights out of the year where he can really let loose and ROLL FACE. Who doesn’t enjoy sweating your balls off listening to music that makes you want to cum your pants while girls are begging to be groped and fucked? These are your average BROS, the ones who know how to KILL IT while still KEEPING IT REAL. But then there are the BROS that take it to the next level... the BROS in which no BRO ever wants to be labeled. Yes ladies and gentleman, there is THAT BRO.

THAT BRO will spend all of his parents money on pounds of the purest molly, a ticket to every house music festival in the tri-state area, and plane tickets to anywhere outside of it. Where there is house, there is THAT BRO. THAT BRO leaps at any opportunity to FUCKING RAGE HARD, BRO.

Although each concert takes up only a couple of hours of THAT BRO’s life, THAT BRO’s week revolves around whichever house concert he is attending. During the days before, he frequents American Apparel to purchase a bright muscle tank top with a matching sweatband because THAT BRO knows that you shouldn’t be at a house music festival unless you look like you were birthed from a highlighter.

Concert day arrives and THAT BRO enters in the hopes that a girl is rolling face enough that she will think he is the best thing that has happened to her since Plan B. I mean, who isn’t fun as FUCK to chill with when they’re on Ecstasy? Even the dullest of BROS seem to be the life of the party when one’s body is engulfed in rapturous delight. At that orgasmic moment when an Avicii song starts playing, THAT BRO’s body starts involuntarily convulsing to the precise tempo of the BPM. (after all, he has practiced in front of his mirror all week)

At the end of the day, whether or not THAT BRO goes home with a raging SLUT, he is happy to get down on his knees in a state of utter euphoria, look up at the neon visual surrounded stage with his sweaty face, and bow to the house DJ (while pumping his fists.)

He praises the lord that is SEX AND DRUGS AND HOUSE.