The MAP: Male American Princess

There is nothing worse than a BRO who acts like he has a bigger vagina than you do. This so-called BRO seems to be a bigger BITCH than you and you can almost be positive that he has constant PMS and a heavier flow than you'll ever experience. The MAP is the guy who wants nothing more than to be a BRO, when in fact he is nothing more than a calorie-counting, brand-name wearing, stuffed-animal collecting PUSSY. No girl wants to fuck a guy who has every Amanda Bynes movie on DVD and gets no better pleasure than watching himself flex in the mirror after a long day of pampering himself and making protein shakes. All this MAP talks about (besides himself) are his David Yurman dog-tags and his "Spring Break Diet" which consists of constant gym sessions and MANOREXIA.

The MAP most likely has more clothes and shoes than most girls and spends most of his time cleaning any scuff that HORRIFYINGLY shows up on one of his many $300 pairs of Nike Dunks. He will NEVER EVER eat late-night because he is NOTHING without his six-pack and he MUST go tanning almost every day. The MAP spends approximately an hour a day styling his hair with products that cost more than the new wardrobe that his hookup just bought at Forever 21. Don't think about touching his hair when you’re trying to get down and dirty, because no amount of sexual pleasure will make him forget that "you have messed up his freshly groomed hairdo"

What most MAP’s don’t understand (because they are too busy worrying about what they look like and how many carbs they ate in one day) is that no CHILL GIRL wants to be caught dead hanging out with a PUSSY ass bitch.  We already have our GIRL friends to talk about fashion, online shop, go to the gym, and tan with...so WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE WANT DO THESE THINGS WITH YOU? Grow some balls and order a pizza next time your late night chilling with a girl. Maybe you’ll end up getting some real action as opposed to just your right hand as you masturbate to Mary-Kate and Ashley's "Holiday in the Sun" (because we know you have every one of their movies within easy reach of your nightstand).