The Intexticator

There is nothing worse than being so drunk that you become that blacked out INTEXTICATOR that every girl prays she won't ever turn into. As soon as you take that extra shot of tequila you knew you shouldn't have taken in the first place, you reach for your smartphone of choice and watch the avalanche of embarrassment begin to unfold. If you still have a Blackberry (that's sad), you most likely use BBM as your main source of booty calling. This is a set-up for the perfect storm. You begin BBMing multiple contacts to see who will take the bait first. The problem with BBM and drunk girls is that when that letter "R" comes up and you haven't gotten a response, you become as frightening as Courtney Love's face. Nobody likes to be ignored, but when there's proof that this dude read your message and isn't responding, THE SHIT HITS THE FAN. 

One would think that iPhone users wouldn't have this issue, because in this case, you can't tell if the person has read your texts or not. WRONG. Even though you don't have visible proof that you're being ignored, your state of drunken BELLIGERENCE has made you incredibly persistent. Five minutes seems like an hour and you DO NOT WANT TO WAIT. The INTEXTICATOR keeps sending texts over and over hoping that her unwavering determination to get a response will get this now unconquerable, and therefore, HIGHLY DESIRABLE guy to give in. After all, your inebriation gives you the ultimate confidence and you KNOW you’re hot shit. As you look at the screen you begin to notice that you have sent approximately 10 texts and received zero back. Your messages are all green and you have now officially turned into the INCREDIBLE HULK of INTEXTICATING. Are you embarrassed? Maybe a little bit, but more-so, you want to hunt this ignorer down and give him a piece of your mind. PSYCHO? YES, GIRL? YES. Those two go together like Brad and Angelina. 

To all the assholes on the receiving end of this harassment, don't feel too special, you're just one of the many. Another night, another drink, and another excuse to act like a crazy bitch without feeling guilty.